I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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