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Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I need to stop coming to work sober
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
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