Well apparently he's into motor boating.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
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I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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