i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize