No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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