lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
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I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
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those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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