mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize