You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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