Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize