May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
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Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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