Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize