I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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