So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
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You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
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hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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