No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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