why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
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We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
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just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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