the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
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By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
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She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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