I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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