i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize