i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There r osticjed everywhere
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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