i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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