He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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