did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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