like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Redeem this text for a blowjob
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
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i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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