I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize