My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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