My underwear smells like fireworks.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I love you.
Bad choice
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