if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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