Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
nutella sex= disaster
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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