sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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