I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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