So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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