you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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