honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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