the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just saw a hot homeless man
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize