I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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