My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize