we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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