This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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