a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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