why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize