dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize