Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
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So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
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Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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