remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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