a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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