then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
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He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
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I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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