Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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