did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She bit a glass in half.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize