Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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