Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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