You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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